Missing you today I am, it seems the years you were with us went by so fast. I miss you terribly…….
I was 18-19 the first time I read these words. They were in a letter my daddy had written me. For those of you who don’t know I received one of his letters everyday during my freshman year of college. As I was considering writing this week’s blog those words came back to me. Back then I thought he was just being his normal sometimes philosophical self, sharing words of wisdom that didn’t always make sense. Today, I feel the weight of the words and at different times of my life they hold very different meanings.
As a mother of grown men, I sometimes miss the little boys they were. From the baseball field to the vocal music concerts, you parents know what I’m saying. I love having my weekends back but I miss that kind of busy. Such a cliché but how very fast those years went by. Sometimes I miss the chaos and the mess and the snuggles but I am so very proud of the men they have become. Watching them raising children of their own and finding their own path is one of my greatest blessings. I understand now the depth of my dad’s love and concern for me as I entered the world and journeyed to adulthood. It’s almost a sad statement and one many of you have probably felt as you have watched your own children leave the nest.
Sitting with my dad toward the end, watching him decline, I realized I was missing him while he was still physically right there. It’s hard to describe the feeling – missing someone who is literally sitting right next to you. It wasn’t physical. It was emotional, the sound of his voice, the ornery twinkle in his eyes, the strong hug or wise advice. I spent months grieving him, saying goodbye. Watching him slowly sink into himself. I realized then I would miss him everyday.
In the same letter he goes on to say that as much as he missed me “he wouldn’t change a thing because I was exactly where I was supposed to be”. This brings me comfort today, I do miss him, but I know he is exactly where he is supposed to be, with his savior and my mother, I can rest knowing that I will see him again someday.
So today, if your kids are still little slow down and take it all in and if your parents are alive hug them if you can and if not give them a call. It goes by fast.
